reality

I really can't wait for the new year.
I am praying that next year will be better than this, fingers crossed.
I have been really confused lately. I don't know why, I just feel really lost.
I feel like i have been spining really really fast and everything is such a blur.
I'm scared if i don't keep my eye on something still, i'll fall.
I need to focus.

Boys

It's funny how they are always out of reach.

love

I don't even know why I bother wishing anymore.
Cos when it does not come true it hurts.
a lot.
I always wish one thing. every day. when I wake up. on the first star I see at night.
and I will never stop wishing it.
But i am happy. apart from on the 14th, thats when i'll pretend.
I don't know why I do.



I really want a old fashioned locket.

wow.

I really did not think I would care... and it's shocked me how much I do.
I feel like I have just been punched in the stomach.
My heart started racing and I could not breathe.

I think my only talent in life is knowing what my gut feelings mean.
If I have a sudden gut feeling I know what it is straight away and I am never wrong.
I guess it's good so I get over it quicker.
But knowing before I actually find out can be painful.



This is like a real kick in the teeth.
Fuck you.

Moonshine

Sometimes I feel there is a hole inside of me an emptiness, that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean.
I have this dream of being whole again. Of going to sleep at night not wanting, wishing.
But sometimes when the wind is warm and the moon is full I close my eyes and dream of a life and love that time will lie down and be still for.
I wish my life was once again happy and bright; not empty.
Maybe i've had my happiness, maybe nothing will change; only the moon.